Monday 14 March 2005
'eure Perlen sollt ihr nicht vor die Seue werfen'
("Don't throw pearls to swine") ... (or, "Don't give KB to trolls")
I've noticed there's been a lot of talk over the years, and on various blogs in recent times, about etiquette & 'netiquette', and the sociology of human interaction on the internet. Well, from what I see, it's no different than in person, (in "real life" if you will).
It's the same as it ever was...
I protect my 'pearls' and filter out the 'swine' in my personal playground, (my 'temple', if you will - within my 'boundaries', as they say). So why wouldn't you?
"It is scarcely necessary to say that one whose tactless remarks ride rough-shod over the feelings of others is not welcomed by many." -- Emily Post
On the internet, you can't break my bones with sticks & stones, so you can imagine how I feel about being called names. -- Chloe (me)
This explains what I have no control over:
Watermelon Punch, the Blog - 02 Jul 2002 | The Internet: Where reality & fantasy collide
The following explains what I do have control over:
My blog is my personal playground. My temple, if you will. It's the same as my home. I pay the rent here, it's mine.
And as my mother used to say: When you're under my roof, you live by my rules!
I can delete comments here for any reason. And I don't owe anybody an explanation about it.
I don't have a problem with discussion, disagreement, or even argument. I reject comments here, (and in-person), not on what is communicated, but on the basis of how something is communicated.
Verbal abuse or logical fallacies are not legitimate, nor useful, means of communication. Indeed, most rational adults would not for a moment consider them to be so.
So why would I find them acceptable? And why should you?
If, for whatever reason, you don't know what verbal abuse is, or don't know what logical fallacies are, I recommend the following reading materials:
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Logical fallacy
Dr. Irene's Verbal Abuse Site
And that's why I see no need for "Rules" or a "Netiquette" or a "ReadMe".
I can quote Emily Post's Blue Book of Social Etiquette until I'm blue in the face... The fact remains, I'm not anybody's parent or authority figure. And there will always be those humans who simply refuse to respect other people. People whose manners do not recommend their opinions.
Making Light: Virtual panel participation
"Over-specific rules are an invitation to people who get off on gaming the system."
And not everyone mixes, sometimes they need to stay in seperate bowls or feel the toxic consequences.
AIGA Voice Conference
March 23, 2002 - 10 Things I Have Learned
"It is not necessarily true that the same person will be toxic or nourishing in every relationship, but the combination of any two people in a relationship produces toxic or nourishing consequences."
So all I can do is either accept or reject, comments & behaviour from others...
On my blog, in my playground, in my home, & in my life.
This isn't about curtailing freedom, or stifling free speech. As I said, I'm no government authority & I'm nobody's parent.
Anyone has free will to think or behave how they choose.
But not neccessarily without consequences, of course. On my blog, depending on the behaviour, the consequences might be having a comment deleted.
It's the equivalent of asking a belligerant disruptive guest to leave the premisis until such time they can behave appropriately. Someone who comes back, bangs on the door repeatedly, or makes threats... That's harrassment, and in some cases it might be necessary to get the police involved.
But that does not mean I'm "silencing" anyone. Since these days, almost anyone using the internet is free to have their own web site, their own blog, where they can carry on however they want, and express their opinions, whatever they may be, in whatever civil or crazy way they choose, so long as they're not breakin' the law. And there, they get to set their own limits (or 'boundaries', if you will).
And we're all free to never go there if we deem it unsuitable for our lives. Just as we're all free not to socialize with people who behave in ways unacceptable to us.
When in Rome, do as the Romans do... (Or don't go to Rome.)
Personally, I just like staying out of 'The Arena' myself. My gladiator days are long gone.
(Same with the sandbox; I removed it from my playground.)
"Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." -- Nietzsche
"Don't wallow in the mud with pigs, you'll get dirty and the pigs will like it." -- Lorrie Ardoin
And if someone feels they have a legitimate complaint, that I've wronged them in some way, deliberately or even unwittingly, they are of course free to state their feelings on the matter, in a civil manner; and if I'm good to my word at all, I would respond with civility. I can't tell anyone how to feel or what to think, I can't demand that anyone tell me how they feel or what they think...
But I can ask questions & make requests.
Because we're all free to communicate.
So I say, why don't we just "make tea not war"?
(Or some coffee from Sumatra will be served, if that's the mood I'm in & can afford it.)
This concludes today's blog coffehousing seminar on not throwing pearls to swine. Thank you, I'll be here all week.
posted by Chloe | Monday 14 March 2005 9:30 AM